Diversity

                                                                                

                                                                                 

                     Stigmas, phobias, hate                       

Internal Oppression, anger, isolate

Hush, hush, colorblind

I'm invisible, I don't count

Feelings, confusion, something's wrong

No one to talk to, all alone

Here you are, you are great

Pride, hope, and validate

Listen, clarify, a new point of view

Respected, included, I can cope

Recognize prejudice, empathize, that's not right

Empowerment, responsiblity, find a voice

Start Seeing Diversity

I was involved in a situation where I silenced a child for something he said.  I was a new teacher in the mid-80's, working downtown Milwaukee as a kindergarten teacher.  Our class was somewhat diverse with two Korean children and three African American children and nine white children.  We were taking a walk outside the building to observe the different types of transportation and a city bus pulled up close to where we were standing.  The doors opened and a large African American man got off the bus.  One of our African American boys yelled "Hey, it's Fat Albert".  The man looked the other way and kept walking while the rest of the class laughed.  I looked at the little boy and told him to be quiet and that it wasn't polite to say such things. 

On the one hand, it was appropriate to point out that it wasn't polite to shout out; but, on the other hand I could have taken the opportunity to discuss how people come in many different sizes and that all large African American men are not Fat Albert.  According to Meltz (2001), even if the person the child has made the comment about can hear you, an immediate, matter-of-fact response is more respectful than silencing the child which translates into bringing more shame.

When we returned to the classroom, I could have used some tools such as children's books or pictures showing people with a variety of body sizes and pointed out that I know a large African American man and his name is Paul, not Albert (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  Additionally, as Spangler pointed out in Positive Ways Early Childhood Education Settings can Respond to Bias (Laureate Education Inc, 2011), persona dolls could have been used to address how the doll felt when hurtful comments about body size were made and the children could have had an opportunity to develop empathy, realizing then that the comment was not something to be laughed at. 

By not addressing the issue I missed the opportunity for children to learn that "name calling, exclusion, and hurtful teasing" (Pelo, 2006) is hurtful and something we don't want to do.  Additionally, not addressing issues gives children the message that the behavior is acceptable and that (in this case) being big is something to laugh at.

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer) (2011).  The Positive Ways Early Childhood Education Settings Can Respond to Bias [Multimedia].  Retrieved from http://mym.cdn.laureate-media.com/2dett4d/Walden/EDUC/6357/CH/mm/audio_player/index_week6html 

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer) (2011).  Start Seeing Diversity: Physical Ability and Characteristics [Course Media].  Retrieved from  http://class.walden.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecutive%2Flaucher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_2651072_1%26url%3D 

Meltz, B. (2001, November 22).  Teachings on diversity, tolerance should start early preschoolers can learn it's ok to notice our differences: [Third Edition].  Boston Globe, H4.  Retrieved from ProQuest database.

Pelo, A. (Ed.) (2008).  Rethinking early childhood education.  Milwaukee, WI: Rethinking Schools.

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

To be honest, I am like some of the staff members in the course media "Start Seeing Diversity - Sexual Orientation" who said discussing gender identity and presenting books and pictures of gay families with their class made them feel uncomfortable because that lifestyle went against their beliefs (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  I also agreed with the staff members who said there was no need to discuss these things because none of the families in their preschool consisted of gay parents.  However, I had to reconsider my thoughts when the teacher in the presentation said she realized it was her responsibility to support a positive identity development for the children in her care regardless of what her own beliefs were.  In other words, preserving the child's identity development outweighed personal beliefs on the topic.  I, also, thought the staff had a valid point when they decided that even though none of the children in their care came from families with gay parents, it was still their responsibility to prepare children to act respectfully if and when they encounter such families.  However, I would probably approach it by not specifically talking about gay parents, but in general say that not everyone has the same kind of family but we must show respect to everyone because it is not our job to judge others.

I was reflecting on observations made of children in my preschool room and how they interact in different centers with various toys and learning materials.  I can say that boys and girls visit the block area and workbench as well as the home living area.  They all try on different work hats and boys and girls experiment with the scarves available in the dress up area.  I have noticed that boys and girls take care of the "babies" when they are playing house.  Most have younger siblings and are familiar with caring for babies.  I have tried to choose books that show males and females in different community helper roles and the children seem to be aware that jobs can be performed by either gender if they are trained for the job. 

After listening to the broadcast of the two families dealing with their son's gender identity (Spiegel, 2008) I was reminded of a little boy we had at our preschool many years ago.  He preferred playing in the kitchen, dress up (wanting to wear an apron) and brought his barbie dolls for show and tell.  When he had his birthday party the mom sent out barbie invitations and the party was a barbie theme.  At the time, I heard comments from parents that they were uncomfortable with that and thought it was strange.  His teacher told me she kept encouaging him to play with the blocks and cars and trucks, but he didn't want to.  I supported her in that and I realize I was more in the mindset of Dr. Zucker from the audiocast who wanted the parents to take away the dolls and encourage play with things like blocks and cars; whereas this little boy's mom seemed to be following the philosophy of the West Coast therapist who favored letting the boy act according to what made him feel comfortable and happy.  I have lost touch with that family, but have often wondered how things went for him as he matured.  Was he rejected by both genders as he got older as Dr. Zucker asserted or did he embrace the femine qualities and become comfortable with his own identity and let the rest of the world deal with their own feelings as the West Coast therapist suggested.  It is a challenging situation where one answer may not be able to be applied to all cases.    If you haven't had a chance to listen to the broadcast, I would encourage you to do so.

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer, 2011).  "Start Seeing Diversity: Gender" [Course media].  Baltimore, MD: Author.

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer, 2011).  "Start Seeing Diversity: Sexual Orientation" [Course media].  Baltimore, MD: Author.

Spiegel, A. (2008).  Two families grapple with sons'gender identity: Pshychologist take radical approaches in therapy.  Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/2008/05/07/90247842/two-families-grapple-with-sons-gender-preferences 

Good Bye and Thank You!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank each of you for responding in such supportive and encouraging ways to my blog and discussion posts.  Your posts have inspired, enlightened, and informed me and I am grateful for the opportunity to get a peek into each of your worlds. 

I wish you the best as we continue our Walden journey and continued success and happiness in your personal and professional lives. 

God Bless!

Adjourning

I have had the hardest time during the adjourning stage of the group process in groups where I felt a cohesiveness, like everyone had come through the experience stronger from the challenges that had been worked through and from the relationships that had been formed.  Additionally, when you get to know group members on a personal level I think it is harder to leave and I think more of an effort is made to keep in touch.  Once a year I still get together with a group of people I worked with 20 years ago and we retell stories about incidents that happened while working together, some of them bring tears from laughing and other tears of sadness.  In that process we affirm the work we did and the students we helped and we offer support in current projects that are going on in each other's lives. 

Adjourning from a group that I have only communicated with electronically and in a structured setting will be a new experience for me.  It would be nice to keep in touch via e mail and I would like to actually meet at graduation as we clebrate our success at achieveing our Master's together, and put names with faces and say thank you for helping me grow and learn and best wishes for the future!

Conflict Resolution

I recently experienced a conflict at work that could have been handled much more effectively had I known what I know now about conflict resolution.  Specifically, we approached our discussions as opponents rather than partners (Conflict Resolution Network, n.d.).  Because the discussion began in an accusatory tone, I was put on the defensive.  The discussion ended in accusations and judgments.  My boss acted as arbiter and the solution he came up with was agreed to by both sides but not supported by either side resulting in a complete breakdown of communication.  We were in the same building, but not talking. 

More productive conflict resolution would have included active listening to gather information and determine needs rather than making assumptions (Conflict Resolution Network, n.d.).  Reflecting back to the other party what I heard them saying would have signified I was taking in and processing their perspective.  Additionally, it would have helped me understand their point of view.  With legitimate needs and concerns in focus we could have explored various options, even set up a trial-and-error period to try new options so that a win-win situation could have resulted. 

The other party involved in the conflict has since moved on; but,  my boss has made a point of asking if I need anything on a regular basis.  As soon as the other party left, he told us to go back to doing things the way we had been prior to the disagreement.  There are still unresolved issues, but it seems he is more attuned to our needs and I am more aware of the need to express myself clearly, unemotionally, and to reflect back to him what I hear him saying to be sure we are on the same page.

Conflict Resolution Network. (n.d.).  CR kit.  Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3. 

Who Am I As A Communicator?

This week's exercise revealed that my perception of my communication skills is very close to the perceptions others have of them.  The thing that surprised me the most is that my husband's evaluations resulted in identical scores to mine.  That shouldn't surprise me, though, because he is one of very few people I disclose my true feelings to.  For example he knew that I experience moderate anxiety in certain contexts; whereas a colleague perceived my anxiety to be mild.  Her perception is a result of me presenting myself as a capable speaker and someone she can have confidence in as her director.  I was also a bit surprised that he and my colleague felt I was a people-oriented listener.  I try to be an empathetic listener, but must admit sometimes I am very conscious of using my time efficiently and feel like I don't actively listen as well as I should.  That is a struggle for me - the desire to use my time wisely could be seen as a good thing; however, it may also say I am too wrapped up in my own agenda to devote my undivided attention to others.   O'Hair & Wiemann stated that what we value in ourselves we value in others (2012).  I value productive communication and I respect other people's time so I tend to be more to the point when I communicate with them.  Consequently, I value that quality in others; I appreciate those who get to the point.

I must remember that others have different styles of communicating and some value details in making their point.  Asking questions and staying in the moment instead of thinking about what I need to be doing would help me listen better.  I am thankful those closest to me feel I am a good listener, but I know I could do better! 

Additionally, it is especially important when working with so many different children and families to keep an open mind about them.  Those we perceive as sharing the same life experiences and preferences as ourselves may not.  Even more important to remember, we cannot assume anything about anyone, looks can be deceiving and our personal schemas can skew our perceptions of others.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M.  (2012).  Real communication: An introduction.  Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin's.