Communication takes place in many contexts and with different goals. I am going to focus on communication with the goal of maintaining a relationship. A close friend and I have maintained our friendship for the past 25 years. Though family, work, and other commitments prevent us from communicating on a regular basis, we make a point of having lunch every few months to reconnect and find out what has been going on in each other's lives. I know that she will not only celebrate my successes, but will be honest with me and give me sound advice and keep me accountable when I need it. According to O'Hair & Wiemann, truthfulness, accuracy, honesty, and reason set the tone for the integrity of communication (2012). I know that she is a woman who shares my values and faith and she knows me well enough to ask questions that will prompt me to be honest with myself when dealing with challenging issues. Another important principle of ethical communication is "We advocate sharing information, opinions, and feelings when facing significant choices while also respecting privacy and confidentiality" (O'Hair et al., 2012, p. 15). We can openly discuss our feelings and opinions because we can trust each other to keep the information confidential. I also respect the fact that she often pauses and thinks before responding. She respects the power of words and uses them carefully and genuinely. One of my favorite Bible verses is "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry..." James 1:19. She definitely models that principle and is a valued mentor for me as a person of true integrity reflected not only in her communication but in the way she lives her life.
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
It sounds like you are blessed to have this friend in your life.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is the way that we can learn about another individual and they can learn about us. It is important to both communicate our information but to be an active listener as well. The process of communicating is about what is said and how it is said, and the outcome of the communication exchange will let you know if you are a successful communicator (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). In your relationship with your friend, it appears you have been successful in communicating with each other and have built a relationship build on honesty and openness.
Carolyn
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteIt is so wonderful to have a friend like that. I have a friend that is awesome as well. We live states a part and may go months without speaking to each other however when we do get the opportunity to speak it is like we just talked yesterday. I am blessed to be able to have this friendship and I know that you feel the same about your friend.
Luci
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post ... I think what I found so appealing about it was you wrote about a person who is your great friend. You value her for so many great reasons. One being she challenges you to look at your self and is honest and forthright in her thoughts. These are essential elements and characteristics of an effective communicator. I could relate to your post as a woman. Because I too value my close friends for similar reasons!
Thank-you for sharing,
Millie
Hi Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI think you are a wise woman, and I enjoy your posts! I too like the same Bible verse, and it is something I work on...I tend to sometimes speak too quickly! I think your friendship is built on honesty and trust, and it is wonderful to have someone to hold us accountable. (I have a dear friend that I can go a long time and not talk to and it seems like we have never been apart!)
Great post!
Kristi