This week's exercise revealed that my perception of my communication skills is very close to the perceptions others have of them. The thing that surprised me the most is that my husband's evaluations resulted in identical scores to mine. That shouldn't surprise me, though, because he is one of very few people I disclose my true feelings to. For example he knew that I experience moderate anxiety in certain contexts; whereas a colleague perceived my anxiety to be mild. Her perception is a result of me presenting myself as a capable speaker and someone she can have confidence in as her director. I was also a bit surprised that he and my colleague felt I was a people-oriented listener. I try to be an empathetic listener, but must admit sometimes I am very conscious of using my time efficiently and feel like I don't actively listen as well as I should. That is a struggle for me - the desire to use my time wisely could be seen as a good thing; however, it may also say I am too wrapped up in my own agenda to devote my undivided attention to others. O'Hair & Wiemann stated that what we value in ourselves we value in others (2012). I value productive communication and I respect other people's time so I tend to be more to the point when I communicate with them. Consequently, I value that quality in others; I appreciate those who get to the point.
I must remember that others have different styles of communicating and some value details in making their point. Asking questions and staying in the moment instead of thinking about what I need to be doing would help me listen better. I am thankful those closest to me feel I am a good listener, but I know I could do better!
Additionally, it is especially important when working with so many different children and families to keep an open mind about them. Those we perceive as sharing the same life experiences and preferences as ourselves may not. Even more important to remember, we cannot assume anything about anyone, looks can be deceiving and our personal schemas can skew our perceptions of others.
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI too value my time however I am a very empathetic listener. I like to think that if I am listening then I might help that person. It is my greatest joy to be able to help others. It fascinates me how other people have someone that knows them so well. I don't think that anyone knows me very well not even my husband. I wonder if that has something to do with my communication skills.
Luci