I read the excerpt from Levin and Kilbourne's (2009) So Sexy So Soon and nodded my head in recognition. I recalled walking past one of the preschool room bathrooms and hearing a little boy happily sing I'm Too Sexy ...over and over. I don't think he realized what he was singing. He liked the snappy beat. I cringed when I heard those words coming out of his mouth, though. I didn't knock on the door and say anything to him; but, I did mention it to his mom and she sheepishly said he probably heard it on the radio. We both agreed there are so many songs with inappropriate lyrics and talked about switching to more child friendly radio stations in the car.
On other occasions I have heard young children in the dramatic play center say I'm sexy and readjust their dress up clothes to expose more body. The reaction of the others is usually mixed from not even responding to saying "my mom says that's not appropriate at our house". I usually try to follow up with the child's parent who is embarrassed and says something like "they saw that on TV". I also, talk to the child's parent who said that was inappropriate behavior and language to let the mother know that their child is hearing what they are teaching. The excerpt from Levin and Kilbourne (2009) left me wanting to read the book to get more concrete ways of helping parents lay a healthy foundation for the development of sexual identity.
Levin and Kilbourne's (2009) example of the fourth-grade girl who had based her self concept on her looks and her ability to be in a relationship (based on pop culture images, ads, and expectations) sounded like the experience one of our teacher's had with her 13 year old who had already been in several "relationships" and was devastated each time one ended, battling depression and in therapy. I had seen photos of the girl who dressed provocatively and wore a lot of make-up. I could not relate to the teacher (the girl's mother) because she was heart-broken for her daughter who couldn't find a lasting relationship. She wished she would just find one boy and stick with him!! My incredulous reply was: "She is only 13! She shouldn't even be in a relationship!!"
I agree with Levin and Kilbourn (2009) who said a healthy body image and overall self-concept as well as exposure to a healthy, loving models of male/female relationships is key to getting children on the right path to developing healthy attitudes about themselves and relationships with others. Additionally, parents need to be pro-active in monitoring what their children are exposed to in media. Early educators and parents can have honest discussions about questions that arise when children are confused about what they see and hear.
Levin, D., & Kilbourne J. (2009). [Introduction]. So sexy so soon: The new sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids (pp. 1-8). New York: Ballantine Books. Retrieved from: http://dianeelevin.com/sosexysosoon/introduction.pdf
Hi Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean by hearing children singing songs that they hear on the radio. It is the beat most of the time. When I heard my eldest daughter (a long time ago) sing a song about sex, I asked her what it meant. I informed her that she should not say things that she did not know the meaning of. By the way at that time sex meant kissing. Children are going to exposed to sexualization because it is in the way society looks at each of us; however, we can help limit this by being honest in our responses at the level of each child. Loved reading your post,
Luci
Suzi,
ReplyDeleteI just went to my son's 7th grade banquet and the girls age 11-14 were dressed like high school seniors. I mean heels and maxi dresses with the halter top. Whatever happen to stockings and a church dress? It is ashame that our young children and teens feel that they need to look and act a certain way to get the approval and attention of others!!! I cannot imagine what my grandchildren will be like 50 years from now!
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteIt is disturbing that such young children have such strong negative influences. Everywhere I look, I see sexualization of young children. I see it on television, movies, advertisements, out in public, I hear it on the radio, it is everywhere. Just recently I took my eleven year old daughter to get a swim suit. This was a much more difficult task than I would of thought. Almost every swim suit exposed more chest than I thought was appropriate. I took this opportunity to help my daughter develop a positive self and sexual identity.
I enjoyed reading your post. Thank you for sharing.
Crystal
Hi Suzanne.
ReplyDeleteI too totally agreed with everything the authors had to say in ‘So sexy so soon’. Indeed today’s media and popular culture highly influence children’s ideas about the nature of sex and sexuality. While the girls get hyper sexualized early dressing in heels and micro minis, we see even boys being more violent and aggressive, thinking that is the ‘manly’ way to respond, and limiting their expression of words and emotions to anger and physical outbursts. ‘Protect children as much as possible from the popular culture’s sexual onslaught’ is easier said than done. With the widespread media and culture’s influence on these young children, all we can do is right in their early years lay the foundation needed to develop healthy attitudes, so that they will be able to choose right from wrong as they grow up. Thanks for the great post.